“Beautiful… Just one more and we’ll take a break”, I said as I pointed my camera at her beauty for one more shot in a rather amorous pose. Not that Sophia needed a break, it became clear to me very early on in our photoshoot that she could keep this going all night. But my double shot of Kraken Spiced Rum was calling for a few sips and Sophia’s wine glass was almost empty.
Sophia displayed pose after pose over the last hour with very minimal direction. In fact, her natural elegance was directing me more than I was her. When that happens you allow it to take the lead. All I had to do was point and click at the most desirable angles. Safe to say, these are my favourite shoots. Not only does it service the end result in ways that can’t be manufactured with the same authenticity, but it also adds a layer of natural divinity to the whole experience, one of unfolding rather that creating.
I held my camera, taking position above Sophia. The soft, dramatic lighting hugged her curves that were dressed in a seductive, black lingerie body suit, coupled with smooth nylon stockings and finished off with black stilettos that signalled both danger and sensuality.
Sophia is a married woman in her early 40s and possesses a natural beauty both physically and mentally. I would liken her to a Monica Bellucci type, given her Italian heritage that blessed her with olive skin and dark hair full of volume. Not to mention a timeless elegance to her nature that can’t be replicated with performance.
She was wanting a sensual photoshoot as a 10 year anniversary gift for her husband. After recently being acquainted with them and becoming quite close in a short period of time, I was honoured when Sophia’s husband suggested she spend an evening in front of my camera. Their love connection is the kind you hear about in old movies and novels, a connection full of lust and magnetism, made all the more sacred with trust and unwavering devotion. You wouldn’t have to be in their company very long to see that these two people were made for each other. Their extravagant lifestyle takes them all across the globe, experiencing luxury and many forms of exploration, both locational and more… personal, in their open minded ways.
Sophia’s life experience and intuitive prowess was apparent to me shortly after getting to know her and her husband, but became even more clear to me that night.
I pressed the camera shutter for one more shot, “Perfect.. And relax”. Sophia returned to a normal seated position on the leather sofa as I placed my camera on the nearby end table. ‘Love And Lust’ by 88DS was echoing on repeat in the background (just one of many in my vast list of erotic ambience for such occasions). I took her wine glass, “Allow me”, I said while she composed herself and put her silk dressing gown back on. I poured her a generous glass of red wine and handed it to her, she thanked me staying seated on the sofa. We both took a sip of our poison before Sophia spoke, “I feel like that last shot was a really good one”, smiling mischievously. “You’re not wrong, we got more than just a few good ones there”. She asked if she could see a few and I was just as curious to look back on what we had done, so I grabbed the camera back and sat beside Sophia. An enthusiastic “Oh wow!” is not the worst response to hear when showing a model the pictures you’ve just taken of her. But the sneak preview was made all the more interesting when we both fixated on the same image as our favourite so far…
“Well Danny, I must say, this is turning out to be a very enjoyable evening. It’s been a while since I’ve been in front of the camera like this, maybe too long.. You know, a camera that isn’t (my husbands) anyway”, Sophia remarked as she raised her glass. I brought mine to hers, clinking in agreement and replied, “Indeed. And I must also say that its very refreshing to see you this natural in front of the camera, I can only hope that (your husband) likes the final results as much as you do”.
We spoke for a short while about their recent travels and adventures. I was interested in their approach towards travel and the way they seemed to perceive it as finding out more about the Self through experiencing different cultures. After some time into our conversation, Sophia remarked, “You know, we’ve spent a lot of time talking about me tonight, but I haven’t heard much about you…”. Naturally I get to know models more deeply during photoshoots, asking them about their lives, what makes them happy, what makes them sad, even angry and so on. I want them to embody their natural emotions and temperament into the images to create authenticity, rather than performance. After all, these photoshoots are their experience more so than my own.
"I joked at her remark, “Well you haven’t brought up any trips to Amsterdam yet, but best you don’t otherwise I won’t stop talking”. They were already aware of my love (more like obsession) for Amsterdam. Sophia didn’t so much as smile. Instead she looked me dead in the eyes for a second and said softly, “My, my… You have built some walls around you haven’t you. I was actually thinking of something more personal". As me being someone who see’s others more intensely than they see me, it was quite refreshing, although unfamiliar to be on the receiving end of being seen. But almost as soon as she finished her sentence, she smiled compassionately, gazed over at my bookcase and continued in her soft tone, “I see you have some books by Carl Jung in your collection, come on, lets even this out a bit!”. My intrigue was peaked instantly, not so much because she asked about them, but because she pronounced his name correctly, which told me she must also be familiar with his works to some degree. I’m almost certain my face was full of enthusiastic curiosity as we both took another sip of our drinks, after all, it’s very rare to come across another person who has even heard of the renowned psycho-analyst, let alone familiar with his revolutionary insights into the human psyche.
“Indeed, I’m a sucker for complicating life”, I joked. Sophia giggled in return, “Oh I know the struggles!”. I won’t go too heavily into details about the work of Carl Jung, that would be more than a few essays in itself. But for those who are unaware, we as humans have conscious, sub-conscious and unconscious minds, Carl Jung’s teachings basically give us the blueprint on how to recognise how the more inaccessible parts of our psyche control our thoughts, programming and behaviours in ways we can’t see without a deeper psycho-analysation, what’s now commonly known as “shadow work”. He is also the pioneer in extensive study of empaths and the way we perceive, respond to the world around us, both consciously and unconsciously. Just these teachings alone would be enough for me, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I couldn’t recommend Carl Jung’s teachings enough, especially to those who suffer with loops of self-sabotage/self-abandonment, to those who don’t feel “good enough” and to those who carry a shame and guilt inside of them, sometimes unknowingly. Just be warned, this shit is not for the faint of heart.
We spoke only for a short time about our experiences with his teachings before she confessed, “Hmm, I had a feeling when we met, but it’s not something you can go around saying out loud without sounding a bit weird”. I was wondering where she was going with this. “A feeling about what?” I said. Sophia looked me dead in the eyes again before saying, “…That you’re an empath too”. I returned the same look before we both smiled in what can only be described as a respectful acknowledgement. We sat and spoke extensively about each others personal journeys, not something either of us were particularly used to given the rarity a meeting an empath, let alone two, alone in the same room. I had to admit that her intuition had surpassed mine in this regard, as her empathetic gifts had avoided my own conscious awareness (either that or she has mastered how to hide it).
Our conversation was incredibly interesting, both having the same gift from different perspectives and life experiences. Sophia has had many life experiences and a few battles to overcome, but she confessed she hasn’t experienced much that’s caused lingering trauma or destructive tendencies. She even remarked that her husband would sometimes even be a little annoyed with how agreeable she could be, wanting to see more of her darker side. I gave her my own experience as reference for becoming aware and totally accepting of our natural “dark sides” that we all as humans naturally have, but that society/environment/external expectations taught us was “bad” and therefore has been buried in the “shadow” of our psyche through unconscious guilt, things such as a desire for power, desire to be desired, sexual desires, desire for wealth, desire for vengeance… The list is seemingly endless. Although she was coming to realise (quite enthusiastically as well as slightly taken a back) that she had in fact had such desires she was unaware of as I went deeper into explaining, but it was my remark about how being an empath was both a blessing and a curse that peaked her curiosity.
I took our empty glasses to refill them again, heavy rain was beating against the window next to me as the drips cascaded down the window carrying the slight orange glow of the room. Sophia continued, “So, what makes it a curse? I’ve always seen it as a kind of awareness superpower”. I paused for a second and looked back at the rain through the window, “It’s a curse for the very same reason that it’s a superpower, depending on who holds it”. She stayed silent, waiting for me to continue, “…Much the same as physical beauty”. My mind was drawn to the rain on window and how it correlated as I thought to myself, “To us in here, these raindrops are beautiful in the way they strike the window, absorbing the orange glow and creating their own abundance of relaxing sounds and mini waterfalls. But lets say we are out there, wandering in the rain with no shelter, soaking wet and cold, seems to be more like a curse to me.”
Then a revelation hit me…
I didn’t hold back my enthusiasm, “That’s it!”, I exclaimed. I turned to face Sophia, looking slightly puzzled, she replied, “That’s it?”, probably wondering if I was going to continue giving my verdict on the light and dark of being an empath. I took my camera once again, leaving the drinks on the table and sat down next to Sophia. “Tell me, what do you see here?”, I said as I flicked through the images once again. Sophia didn’t know where I was going with this, so I answered for her, “I see Blessing"…”. Then I went to the image we had both fixated on earlier and asked the same question, “Now, what do you see in this one?”, Sophia answered in an unsure tone, but with an almost devious smile, “Curse?…”. I smiled in return, “Exactly. And I have a feeling this is exactly the kind of side your husband is craving to see”. I could see in Sophia’s eyes and mannerisms that this ignited a deep enthusiasm and power within her that she had been unfamiliar with and she was as eager to continue the shoot as I was.
Sophia brought a bag with a variety of different outfits and accessories with her and I noticed she had some leather wears and straps in her collection. I suggested she change into that outfit and put her hair into a high and tight ponytail (luckily she was already wearing dark lipstick) and she agreed, as long as I tell her more on my perspectives on the blessing and curse of an empath. Sophia took a sip of her wine and went into the next room to change. I went on to change the ambience of the room, making the lighting a more reddish hue and changing the music to ‘no sleep’ by arya x.
Waiting for Sophia to return, I was yet again drawn to the window as I sipped my rum and thought more deeply about the idea of physical beauty being a blessing and a curse, especially in todays world. “That’s my next article”, I thought to myself.
I heard the door open and Sophia emerged dressed in a revealing yet classy leather set and the high, tight ponytail I suggested. She looked divine. “So, what do you think? Does it make me look a little more… darker?”, she said mimicking a stern facial expression. “Almost, but lets see if we can get that expression without performance”, I said light-heartedly, not wanting to get into a place of self consciousness. Authenticity is essential.
Sophia took another sip of wine and proceeded to take position on the sofa once more. Yet again, without direction she begins posing naturally. As promised, I spoke more about my comments earlier in regards to empathic tendencies being a blessing and a curse and Sophia maintained a very high level of curiosity throughout, asking questions and telling me what she felt about it. As the minutes rolled on, I could see her demeanour changing, not into a different person, but a person becoming aware of their more hidden traits. This was showing in the images, the gaze had become more mischievous, carrying an essence of danger and strategy, her poses became more domineering and dramatic. I was in awe at just how quickly she was embodying her natural self, her enthusiasm elevated by the knowing of how much these images will please her beloved.
We continued to speak and create images for what seemed like a long time. We both knew there was no need to change into any other outfits or alter any ambience, we found the sweet spot.
We eventually came to a point where we thought we had more than enough and our deep dive into some intense conversation had caused us to need to relax and process. "As we sat, appreciating the images we had created, Sophia claimed she felt a deep sense of “letting off steam”. I responded casually, “Naturally, you embodied your darker side without guilt or shame, just acceptance.”, Sophia replied, “And that’s what shadow work actually does?”, “To put it simply, yes”, I said. Sophia was captivated with the whole notion of shadow work and how she felt allowing her darker side and fantasies come through and also very excited to go and speak with her husband about it.
I couldn’t have been happier with the photoshoot, it all just seemed to click without much input and Sophia’s immense gratitude for the experience made it all the more satisfying. Sophia had returned into her “normal” clothing and gathered her things, looking slightly tired but relaxed. We both thanked each other for the evening and she reminded me of the plans for us, her husband and a few others going for drinks the next weekend. I assured her I hadn’t forgotten. I opened the front door for her, she walked through and looked back saying, “You know what, I’ve really enjoyed tonight, you’ve shown me something new about myself, I can’t thank you enough for that” (the highest compliment from one empath to another), but next week, its my turn. How about we even this out and I help you take down some of those walls?”, she said more as a demand than a question. I smiled, and said jokingly “Good, luck with that”, before saying goodnight and closing the door.
The week went on and I had edited and arranged the images into two different series that I was going to show Sophia’s husband individually. When next weekend came around, I brought just a few digital copies with me to show him. I told him that I had organised two different series, but didn’t specify that one was called “Blessing” and one was called “Curse”. But before that we all drank and spoke for a while. Her husband had made remarks about how him and Sophia have been experiencing… (I will just say, “new erotic vibes”). Sophia and her husband sat together looking through the images, their appreciation and excitement for them made me feel like it was a job well done indeed and her husband was almost pleading with me to show the full sets of images, but Sophia stayed firm in her insistence that they remain a surprise.
Once they were done I asked Sophia’s husband which series he liked best. Sophia looked up at me with a mischievous smile, a smile that said she already knew what he was going to say.
I’m sure you can already guess which one he picked.
After a few drinks and some interesting conversation, I said almost sarcastically, “Now, Sophia… About these walls”…